Babe..you have high expectations

Yes I do. I have very high expectations on the people around me…my work and probably my personal life. Huh! Go figure. It’s not that I can’t lower it down – I just dont want. But when I’m stuck in such a weird situation, I ask myself do I really want all this?

Confusing as it may sound – I know what I want in life and it might not be what I’m going through rite now. It becomes inevitable becuase you are answerable to so many things in life. Do I fear the future and what lies ahead – yes I do . I seek comfort in knowing that the people close to me understands me fully to not care so much about me ( yes I am weird).

I have specific ways of dealing with all this anger & frustration

I’ve been asking myself everytime…I am neither their mothers , sisters or have any blood relations with them so why do I even bother? I don’t understand the concept

How do you go on if you no longer believe in it?

 

I’ve always wanted to scrap book . Maybe. Someday. One day. My Dec project!

http://www.larissameek.com/2007/12/21/oh-lolliop-its-a-desktop-wallpaper/

I don’t know if I have the energy to sustain a blog. I’m not even going to try to justify nor explain why I blog hop or constantly change the many layouts or server or providers of free blog. It’s a wishful fantasy that I can be a good blog writer be in fashion or general information or even to information about my day job.

I don’t know if I want to share this to anyone or everyone. I have not decided. If you do happen to chance to this blog my mistake. well sorry – you won’t be able to find anything interesting about myself.

About myself

I am a simple person – with a fetish for bag collection ( not the expensive kind) because I would never part good money to buy an IT bag and then in a few months it becomes a DUH bag. I rather have bags that is unqiuely different

I am interested in the arts and used to ( imperative word here is USED to be quite good in creating things with brushes) I love to draw, something which no longer applies to me because I think that the skill diminished as I grew older

I used to have more friends – more enegry to do more things – to meet up more. But currently i am at a stage of my life where I would be happy going to a 5minutes walk -MC cafe nearby to “chill”. Gone were the days where I can travel to the other end of Singapore just for a kopi – or for nothing. I still have tight friends but I don’t make it a point to meet them up.

I believe in education- getting educated and i shamelessly pursue my education all the way. To find myself back in the system is an irony and I’ve been questioning myself since 5 years ago. Though I love my job – the crap it gives is something that I am still learning how to swallow.

I like whimsical stuff – cute adorable Jap or Korean notebooks ( yes, besides bags – i have a inner demon that gobbles notebook) I buy notebooks & keep them for fun

My taste in music is very limited – although I enjoy a good dose of Lady Gaga and the likes of today 90s pop – my heart is very much taken by the works of mastro jazz artists. I like simple tunes that does not require the thumping beats that makes one shake their bon-bons. I am very outdated in my ipod playlist (The ipod is thanks to my dear nur)

I am fierce – Hear me roar. I hate to be taken advantage off or be manipulated . I am manipulative and always smart at making people feel precious. I am selfish and I do tend to take and not give. I am ambitious such that I am given so many things to do and probably a master of none.

I also try to be a better person. Spiritually I am in awe of my creator. However I lack the knowledge and the desire to deepen my convinction. I will try my best

I am a wife. Not yet a mother although the maternal instinct in me has been going on overdrive. I want a boy so that I can throw him in mud and he’ll still be happy. Girls are such a hassle

I love history. I am an old soul. I am strange that way. I love the smell of books .  I also regret not reading so many of them.

I love to travel. However I hate the weariness of travelling. I like to see the world in comfort. 5-star. but I get guilty when I realise how lucky I am after travelling

I like the sea but not the sun. I like the rain but not the downpour. I like the stars but not the darkness. I love to be loved but not to love. I want to be understood but don’t want to understand.

I am complicated yet I am simple. I am Khamilia

Hello world.